My Great Uncle was a wise chap. I think once you attain a
certain age these pearls of wisdom become much more palatable to the younger
generation - they seem like good sense rather than just parental meddling… Not
that mine have ever meddled, they’re more in the mould of mistakes are good and
if it’s something really bad then rally around and tell everyone else to bugger
off. Uncle Phil once told me that Love should not be glamorous. He left it at
that. Helpful really until you get to a certain place and perspective in your
life when it all becomes clear. If you haven’t got there, you will, if you
have, how true is that?!
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| Everyone needs a eureka moment... |
Now my epiphany on this only came this afternoon – at
approximately fourteen minutes past two on the way home from the Bank. Luckily
for all of us, the art world got there way before I did, and have been trying
to get us to see this very fact for years. There are so many images
by the great and the good of the artistic community on the simplicity and
everday nature of real love, and it’s on these that I intend to witter in a
contented manner for a little while. Grand gestures are all very well and good,
but artists have been pointing out for years that it is in fact the simple
things which fulfil us emotionally, an embrace, a glance, a touch, a smile.
These small gestures of intimacy can sustain us much better for their personal
nature than ever an extravagance can because at the end of the day any idiot
can pay for a nice meal or a piece of jewellery, but it takes one who knows you
to remember exactly how you like your tea in the morning or when to give you a
hug when you don’t even realise that you really need one.
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| Mark Chagall, The Lovers. Mixed media |
The first stop on this eclectic trip through the last
century is once again the artist Marc Quinn, who it has to be said I like
rather a lot – he’s gutsy, no afraid to push boundaries, but unlike so many
artists out there who go for shock value he’s actually good enough to back up
his vision. The Kiss is my favourite of his images because if it’s simplicity –
I mean what could be more effortless: two people in an embrace which is
passionate and meaningful to them? The total self-absorption of the figures is
moving; the pleasure and happiness these two clearly derive from one another is
inspirational. There is another subtler message here when you start to really
look, and I am going to be fairly blunt about it, Love conquering disability.
This piece is really read on two levels – the emotional and the visual. That
said, the longer you look the less you see and the more you feel; here is the
perfect vision of young love and hope made real by the subjects anchoring in
the world of physical handicap.
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| Marc Quinn, The Kiss, 2002. Marble |
Though his somewhat turbulent relationships would tend to
suggest to the unknowing spectator that he didn’t know the meaning of the word,
Sir Stanley Spencer managed to capture and convey the sacred nature of the
quiet moments we find in Love. Whilst there are many beautiful images on the
everyday comfort we find in long-standing relationships one of my favourites is
a simple pencil drawing of his beloved first wife Hilda and a daughter patting
a dog which Stanley himself holds on a lead. There are other paintings which I
could talk about, other drawings as well, but for some reason there is something
in this small depiction of the family unit which is just perfect. Perhaps it’s
because of Hilda and Spencer’s background that I find it so touching - despite difficulties within
the marriage, Hilda's was the key role in his emotional life, as much of his work
showed. They corresponded regularly, and he continued writing to her even after
their divorce in 1937 and her death in 1950. These letters could be over a
hundred pages long. As he wrote, 'You still are to me the most revealing person
of true essential joy I know.’ There is something simple yet totally fulfilled
in the absorption and interaction of the two main characters, a warmth to the
touch, a sense of belonging together and tranquillity. Love in Spencer’s world
was both passionate and quiet, when he followed the glamour of it he was nearly
ruined, but the simple side of it was his constant companion and solace for the
rest of his life.
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| Sir Stanley Spencer, Family Group, 1939. Pencil on Paper |
When
I was little (which if you believe my +1 I still am) my father bought me a poem
called Hugs. It hung on a beam by my bed for years and I can still recall the
majority of it to this day. Now I happen to be a bit of a tactile person - and
by bit I mean utterly, irretrievably touchy feely – and I love a good hug.
There’s something about them which can be intensely personal for an act which
is essentially everyday; it’s the emotion which you imbue them with which makes
them important parts of relationships and a way to convey your Love for another
person. Nan Goldin pays this simple embrace homage in her seminal work The Hug. From what I can see there is
nothing big or impressive about what is shown here, except maybe the hair, but
that is the beauty of it. A hug, to the right minded person, shuts out the
world, erases stress, conveys emotion, cheers you up and occasionally makes
your heart skip a beat.
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| Nan Goldin, The Hug, 1980. Photograph |
Thus
far I’ve babbled on about Love in a relationship (whether fleeting or long
term), but what about Love between family or friends? Well here the same
principle of simplicity applies. I have several close friends, and by close I
mean really close - being an only child elevates them to pretty much family.
Now, we’ve been through a lot together over the years and there is a bond there
which is for all intents and purposes is what I recognise to be Love; it has
grown stronger through adversity, pain, laugher and many different
relationships but remain constant and comforting.
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| Against the world, your friends will always stand beside you... |
That is the other things
which artists remind us of in talking about relationship and the feelings they
evoke; Love can grow from the most unlikely situations. David Hockney painted We Two Boys Together Clinging in 1961
before homosexuality was decriminalized and as such allows us to read his piece
in two ways. The first directly refers to what I was saying about Love between
friends, as the title is taken from Walt Whitman’s poem of the same name and
discusses the bonds between friends and how unshakable they are. The second is
still about Love in adversity and comes directly from the socio-historic
context of the time it was painted. The two protagonists in this painting
are seen exchanging a passionate embrace and kiss in front of a lavatory wall
covered in
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| David Hockney, We Two Boys Together Clinging, 1961. Oil on Board |
Love
it would seem is as complex as we choose to make it. We can strive for the
ideal, we can find ourselves immersed in the darker aspects of it or we can
find happiness in the simple pleasures it bring to us. Art is there for whatever
version of this emotion we decide we wish to see, and like Love itself, it
shifts and changes, challenging our perceptions and comforting us by turn. It’s
been kind of fascinating to see the differences in interpretation of this
subject, and it’s interesting the conversations it has thrown up and
controversies it has reignited between my nearest and dearest. For me, well
it’s a private thing as all true matters of the heart are. That said I can safely say
I’ll be following some sage advice from one who knew infinitely better than
myself…
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